Children Are Born Competent

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Created on Monday, 03 September 2012 19:14

Written by Pat Pughe-Parry

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Babies, learning to sit, crawl, walk, wield a spoon, controlling bodily functions takes time, repeated failure and practise. As parents, we don't say to our babies when they fall on their bottoms for the first time, "oh dear, you are useless, you better not try that again. I will carry you for the rest of your life."

No, we encourage and marvel at their progress.

So where does it all go so wrong that we become afraid to allow our children to remain unique human beings, developing at their own pace without a fear of failure?

We have become a giant sausage machine society with an enormous RULE BOOK that determines who we are to be.

RULE BOOK 1 – Baby milestones

Your child will crawl, eat solids, sit, walk, talk, be toilet trained by these ages and if they miss a milestone be afraid, be very afraid your child is not developing normally so you must FIX IT!

Most young parents (and I know I was one of the worst) are terrified at the responsibility we have been given and know that society is watching us to see how we are going to perform. Our inbred terror of failing as parents sends us off to this specialist and that therapist at the first hint that something is a little different. FIX MY CHILD SO THAT S/HE will be normal and we as a family will fit in.

As I said in the beginning children are born curious. Warning bells start ringing in their little minds even if they can't express themselves. Mom and/or Dad are angry, afraid and upset and it seems like I am the cause. What am I doing to make them this way? I FAILED at something but I don't know what.

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